they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
How external is "for external use only"?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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