She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
