so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
