i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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