update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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