Umm I'm too high to move.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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