Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
