Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
