So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
