You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
