I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize