you would pick up someone in the library
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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