Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
