I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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