i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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