is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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