the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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