dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
