either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think im going to throw up on grandma
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
