Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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