this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
