oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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