oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
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