We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she told me i tasted like america
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
