I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
