What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize