is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
