If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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