I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
