Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
