His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
