If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
