ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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