I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
