I could make wine with my vomit
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize