this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
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porn star boner night. come get it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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