halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
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It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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