I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
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IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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