i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
as a side note pls kill me
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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