I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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