he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
