He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
