I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
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you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
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yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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