peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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