The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
