Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
