I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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