i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
