I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
