Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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