I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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