I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
