Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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