I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize