Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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