When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Yo dont text me then not text me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
