best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
