He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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