You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
