Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
How external is "for external use only"?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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