I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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