Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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