Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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