Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
